Posted on May 01, 2021
We all do, think, believe and act out stuff we shouldn’t, often impulsively and thoughtlessly, and sometimes stupidly – even dangerously. Just look at our proclivity for lying: on any given day, studies show we’re told anywhere from 10–200 lies (and it’s fair to say that we’re telling a few to other people ourselves). When meeting strangers, we stretch the truth roughly three times in just the first 10 minutes – worse still, we lie to those we love most – with the average married couple telling fibs in one out of every 10 conversations. (‘That outfit looks great.’ ‘I’m on my way!’ And those two words that no man wants to hear: ‘I’m fine’.)
And let’s not forget all those vices we’re forever trying to shake: those practices, faults, behaviours and habits that we're not proud of, but do anyway. Turning to wine when stressed. Turning to food when bored. Turning time and again to a friend or partner that you know isn’t right for you. Of course, whenever we do these things we feel bad afterwards – what’s that about?! DNA, character, temperament, morality, sin, wickedness?
We say no! – hey, we’re coaches, we believe in people. We believe it’s about behaviour, and that we always have the ability to change behaviour, if only we can find the will and the way. (We don’t mean to be flippant, obviously some people need higher level and long-term support to change behaviour.)
Anyways, what we’re saying is, often times an intellectual understanding of unproductive behaviour is not in itself enough to prompt behavioural change. Knowing we’re doing something negative isn’t the same as doing something about it. To spark and sustain change in our behaviour, we need to do something differently – and that’s hard. Change is hard. And hard to sustain.
Let’s get down and dirty here. Let’s get real. Sometimes we need to give ourselves a good talking to! We need to learn from bad role models what we don’t want! We need to get off our butt, stop whingeing and excusing – and do the work on ourselves.
Here are 20 things to stop: pick one now and set a SMARTER goal: specific, measurable, achievable, relevant, time-bound, evaluated, reviewed. And take action. Start now! Make it happen. Take responsibility for yourself. Enlist an accountability partner who'll hold you to your commitment.
– The Coach Place Global
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