As the pandemic has taught us, life can get tough. We can lose people, circumstances change and relationships end. Sometimes we can go through periods where we feel empty and lost yet have no idea where the feeling stem from. Other times, we know exactly what triggered our anxious thoughts and broken hearts. While we can't control circumstances around us, nor can we control other people’s actions or behaviours, the one thing we do have control over is ourselves.
If you've found yourself in a rut, these five useful tips might pick you up:
- Power of perspective – Our minds are extremely powerful. If we change our perspective on any difficult situation, it can affect our reactions, behaviours, the way we respond, and it can ultimately help ease a difficult situation. Everything has good and bad. If we can switch our perspective from being the victim of our circumstances, we can instead empower ourselves when we look for the lessons and see that setbacks, mistakes and failures are really opportunities for us to grow. Next time life throws a curve ball, instead of asking 'Why's this happening to me?' change the question and ask yourself, 'What's this trying to teach me?'
- Power of focus – They say what we focus on grows and I couldn’t agree more. When we focus on the negatives, it’s easy to make 'mountains out of molehills', destroy or damage relationships and say and do things we regret. Yet if we focus on the positives, it can be so powerful that it can override a bad situation. Focusing on the good things can heal relationships, ease a difficult situation and cause us to respond in a healthy and constructive manner rather than just react with anger, frustration or hate.
- Power of your soul – Mind, body and soul, it’s all connected. It can be easy to fall back into bad habits and turn to alcohol, drugs, overeating, or any other addictive behaviour that brings us comfort. Turning to destructive patterns only leads us to guilt, resentment and more sorrow in the aftermath. Instead, take care of your soul, do things that make you feel good. Eat good food, surround yourself with those you love, and get moving, even if it’s just a walk with your dog.
- Power of support – There's a reason for the quote, “A weight shared is a problem halved”. We can sometimes feel that we burden others by sharing our problems, but asking for help and support is a sign of strength. It takes more courage to speak up than to pretend that everything is fine. You don’t have to carry all the burdens, you may even be surprised to find how much your loved ones care and are willing to support you. There's also a vast amount of professional help that's at hand whether it be a paid service or a free helpline such as lifeline.org.
- Power of gratitude – When stuck in a rut, it can be easy to forget the good things we still have in our lives. It’s easy to be consumed with whatever it is we have going on. Waking up in the morning and thinking of things you're grateful for can help shift your mood. It can have a powerful affect on how you start your day and how you choose to feel. Even if you can only think of three things, write a list, and spend a couple of minutes feeling thankful for those things. Do you have a bed to sleep in? Have you got food on the table? Do you have someone in your life that loves you? When we are grateful for what we have in our lives, we tend to attract and find more things we can be grateful for.
Who is Maz Dela Cerna?
Maz Dela Cerna, author of I deserve better, is a renowned self-development coach, author, blogger and YouTuber. As the founder of the Phoenix Rising Collective she coaches people around the world to uncover and remove their self-limiting beliefs and self-destructive thoughts.
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